Monday, September 13, 2010

Why Nature would win in a wrestling ring

Arthritic hunch

I've been thinking about some of the mad-cap shamanism I came across in Norway. What with all the sublime nature around me on the farm, I picked up a thing or two about how nature could probably take on a hospital in a wrestling ring and emerge roaring and victorious, cracking Hospital's back over its knee and delivering The People's Elbow from the corner post. (Not being a boy, all the wrestling terms come care of my friend Davy.)

For instance, one day, in the throws of launching myself killer-gardener style on doc leaf plants and trying to haul them out of the ground, I realised I was surrounded by a sea of nettles. I copped all too slowly that the tingling sensation that had been running all up and down my legs had little to do with my newly toned muscles and more to do with nettles blistering my legs to bits.

Feeling arthritic?
Gobble a few nettle leaves

"Do not worry," smiled the wise old head gardener, "nettles are Nature's cure for Arthritis."

Nature had done it again and there she was, doing laps of the wrestling ring; victorious and boastful, tossing nettle leaves to hoards of her adoring crowds.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Similarly, if you ever find yourself in the forest and are struck down by a toothache, reach for the nearest slug. In the slime of slugs, Nature has gifted us with a natural anaesthetic.

Feeling a little sluggish?
Use slug slime as an anaesthetic

Native Americans knew all about Nature's prowess in the wrestling ring. They used slug slime as an anaesthetic for years before the dentist's needle came into vogue.

So try them out today! If you find the nettles too stingy on your joints, rub on some slug slime salve to numb the sting.


  1. I know someone who once swallowed a slug who had squirmed its way into his coffee. He said the taste just wouldn't go away no matter what he did.
    Considering how much they stick to your foot/sock if you stand on one, I can imagine that alright.
    Don't quite fancy sticking one in my gob so!
    Hope all is well with you!